What do you do when you’re feeling sad in China? If you’re Chinese, I’m not sure. If you’re an American girl in China, I’m still not sure. The Chinese put some unusual twists on my usual comfort foods, so I have to say I’m still feeling a little down in the dumps.

Take potato chips, for example. I went to our local Huapu supermarket (which happens to be owned by the American supermarket giant IGA), and like for everything else in China, there was a huge selection of chips. There were even American chip brands like Pringles, Lays and Doritos. The problem was, they all came in weird meat flavors. Mexican Tomato Meat Flavor, Italian Chicken Flavor and French Chicken Flavor were just a few of the flavors the Lays came in. The Asian chips all had pictures of various kinds of meats on their bags, indicating what I assumed to be steak, beef soup, chicken, chicken-on-a-stick, shrimp and well, you get the point. There was even some spicy one that called itself “piquant” flavored. No thank you.

Then there is the ice cream problem. Ice cream, it seems, is still a novelty in China. A scoop of ice cream, which I’ve only seen sold in more touristy/Westerner-frequented areas, costs 20 yuan. For a single little tiny scoop! What a rip off! Ice cream on sticks are very common; you can’t go 10 meters without passing a cooler of them. But I don’t like ice cream on sticks. I want a full pint of Ben and Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Cookie. At the supermarket, there are more expected flavors, unlike the potato chips, like vanilla, strawberry, blueberry … but nothing that interests me. I’ve settled for green tea just because, hey, I’m in Asia. Might as well go for the Asian flavor.

And juice? Fresh-squeezed juices come in all different combinations, but they’re expensive and not readily available. How hard is it to find bottled juice that tastes just as drinkable? China is curing my juice addiction! I’m not sure what this stuff I’m drinking is, but it ain’t juice. It tastes like artificially flavored sugar water. The orange juice tastes kind of like Tang or orange soda without the fizz. The pomegranate tasted like pomegranate soda without the fizz. So the other day, I bought three bottles of juice, thinking at least one of them has to taste alright. Right? Well, no. None of them tastes juice-y, just sugary and artificially flavored. The one on the left, which I thought would be kind of like lemonade, reminds me of lemon-scented household cleaners. I think the pink bottle is something peach-y, but I can’t really tell, and the stuff inside tastes like liquid pear candy (this is not a good thing). And the one on the right can’t decide whether it wants to be bitter or citrusy. In short, my quest for good bottled juice still continues.