The sorry state of America, according to North Korea

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There is a North Korean newsreel going around Weibo on how Americans live today. Its Chinese title is “The Deeply Suffering Imperialist American People”:

I am laughing, incredulous and indignant at the same time. The things the narrator says are what you expect a satirist would come up with and said with such perfect deadpan that I’m almost wondering if it’s a joke (“Again, there are no birds except for these … and they will be eaten on Tuesday. They are yummy.”). But I also can’t believe North Korea can put forth something so preposterously distorted — seriously, is this a joke and is that even current footage or from the U.S.? And then, I can’t believe North Korea can effectively lie like this and get away with it, especially if it’s really not a joke! (Because, yes, while we have gun shootings and snow and a poverty and homelessness problem, most Americans are not subsisting on one cup of snow-coffee a day, and North Korea does not supply aid to hungry Americans, especially in the form of cake.)

But speaking of North Korea and cake…

The expat’s life

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If you hadn’t noticed already, expats love talking about being expats. Usually it’s pretty vapid stuff. However, there’s a good discussion at the IHT Rendezvous blog about life as an expat. It started with the general pitfalls of being an expat, which led to what may be the “glass half full” way of looking at it:

If you are a member of Rendezvous’s global tribe, “home” might be where your apartment, your work or your belongings — or even your family and friends — are. But it might also be a place where language and culture are confounding. And deep down, despite the thrills and invigorating challenges of an experience abroad, more often than not, we know it’s not a place we’ll stay forever.

This dislocation — psychic as well as geographic — comes with inevitable lonelinesses, small and large. There are holidays with family missed, and life events — weddings, birthday parties, memorial services, births — that happen without you.

For some expats, their life as an expat is more of an immigrant status. They have chosen to move abroad and found a place to settle. But for others (like myself, and the majority of expats in China), the expat life is indeed temporary. “How much longer will you stay for?” is the question that usually follows the one about how long you’ve already been here. Few people know the real answer, but it’s always at a hazy point within the next few years.

But really, many of the comments on the Rendezvous blog are very eloquent and capture the myriad viewpoints every expat has about experiencing life abroad. Being an expat can certainly seem glamorous, but we are also distinctly aware of the trade-offs we must make.

For me: I miss being able to just pick up the phone at any time and chat with my closest friends back home for what can be hours (the fees and time difference really do make it impossible!). I never know how to choose between using my annual leave (and a month’s pay) to go home and reconnect or to travel to any of the numerous countries just a stone’s throw away from Beijing. I have to constantly think about whether I am accumulating too much stuff.

But that’s about it for disadvantages. And apart from the first thing, most of them are first world problems. One very thoughtful commenter on the post mentioned how living abroad is a privilege. This is (or should be) the foundation of expat living: It is a privilege for me to live and work in China; a privilege to be able to learn a new perspective, culture and way of life; a privilege to even have had the choice of moving to a different country, and the choice of returning home.

Just a few years ago, I never even thought that living outside the U.S. was a possibility or that it was something I would even be capable of doing. The thing about living abroad is that at every moment you feel there is an opportunity — to meet someone, to see something different, to learn. I’m still not sure when I’ll be moving back home, but it is a feeling I hope to be able to take with me.

Beijing v Shanghai, Round 2308

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Man, Beijing never comes out on top:

Translation: “Beijinger: ‘We Beijingers are the luckiest, we can open our windows and get free cigarettes.’ Shanghainese: “That’s nothing, we turn on our faucets and get pork chop soup!'”

Previous AP story: Dead pigs found in Shanghai river rise above 6,600. Pretty gross! Pictures here if you’re so inclined.

How important is a little bit of wind?

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Yesterday, we awoke to a murky gray sky. Even though it was 8 a.m., there was hardly any bright morning sunshine to alert me to the fact that it was a new day. The smog was so dense that the apartment building directly facing mine was kind of fuzzy, and I could barely make out the street past it. Unfortunately, I still had to get up. I checked the air quality index: on my way to work, at 9 a.m., it was 479 out of 500, according to the U.S. Embassy monitor.

However, by nightfall, the situation had turned. Boyfriend texted me before I left the office to be careful because it was super windy. I knew this strong dose of Pollution-B-Gon meant several things: 1) It was colder; 2) The next day would be blue; and 3) The AQI was lower. Lo, it was at a “good” 26 at 9 p.m. when I left the office. The PM 2.5 reading was even lower — at 8, on par with the average reading of an American city.

Today we woke up to a Carolina blue sky, with the sunlight shining through our window curtains. Not that it made it any easier to get out of bed. But it did brighten the mood, just in time for Friday.

Going French, via China

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Back when I went to Chinese lessons, my small class included a Spaniard and a Russian. The class was taught mostly in Chinese, but we used an English textbook. I understand English is widely spoken all over the world, but it still impressed me how many expats learned Chinese through English, not necessarily their native tongue. Thus, sometimes they had questions about what a word meant (because they didn’t know the English definition) or they would pronounce the pinyin with a Spanish accent (jiu would be you).

Now, I’m getting a taste of what it’s like to learn a language in a different language. I work for a French company, so I’m surrounded by quite a few French speakers. Every Thursday for the past month, I’ve been going to a one-hour French lesson, taught in Chinese. So far, we’ve only focused on pronunciation, and I still remember basic French from my school days, so I’m not really “learning” anything. However, the pronunciation focus is unlike anything I’ve done in school — perhaps a reason why Americans are notoriously awful at French? In contrast, I’ve been quite amazed by how my Chinese coworkers sound when they speak French. It seems they are better at forming the nuanced sounds than my former classmates and teachers. But this is, of course, only according to my untrained ear.

Perhaps I can start incorporating some French into my Chinglish …

Going all over France!

Pollution solutions

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So by now, you must have heard about the airpocalypse that engulfed Beijing (and the rest of northern China) for most of January. Now that it’s well into the second month of the year, I obviously survived!

Could I chew the air, as Jon Stewart claimed? I don’t think so. Then again, I don’t notice things like this. For example, I spent most of the worst day holed up in my apartment and watching Downton Abbey. When I finally emerged the next day, boyfriend and I had a short conversation about how white the air was, especially noticeable as we traversed the elevated highways around Guomao in the back of a taxi. We were completely oblivious to the fact that the air quality reading had spiked just hours before and was still at an insane level. Honestly, it seemed worse than usual, but not really unfamiliar. You get used to it. Also, it was white. Other times, the air was gray or brown. For several weeks, however, I could smell/taste a distinct whiff of old burnt diesel and kerosene every time I stepped outside. After gasping for a few breaths and burrowing my face into my scarf, I became used to it.

Since then, the air has been relatively better. Sometimes it’s gray and dreary, and then the next day is blue and sunny. Every week, there will be a news report of the latest government plan to improve the air — short-term emergency measures. First, it was fairly sensible: Get rid of old cars and other outdated polluting technology. It’s a small step and probably will have little effect, but it’s a good and simple place to start. But then, things got crazier: Authorities asked people to limit how much fireworks they set off during Spring Festival. Another small measure, for sure, since fireworks are allowed only for short period of a little over two weeks. But crazy because they’re only set off for a short period of a little over two weeks, it’s tradition, and their impact on reducing China’s overall pollution in the long term is essentially zero.

Now, the government is thinking about banning barbecue (and “barbecue-related activities” — such as, I guess, eating barbecue and banning barbecue). Because this street food staple is just the worst! The pollution they create is so obvious in the smoke coming off their dirty charcoal grills. If people really wanted to eat pollution, they can just grill their lamb kebabs over the factory smokestacks. At least then they wouldn’t be adding anymore pollution than necessary into the air.

China likes to trumpet its environmental record, and much in the West has been written about its investments in green energy. But the pollution (not just in the air!) makes the government’s efforts seem dubious and worthless. It really doesn’t help that there’s not a lot of specific data on the causes of the pollution. Obviously, it is a potent mix of geography, climate, surrounding factories, coal burning, inefficient technology, trucks and cars and too many farting government officials. So why not make laws that target the main culprits, the enforcement of which may actually do something about the pollution? As my coworker said, “Barbecues are the only fun we can have in Beijing. Don’t take it away!” Here’s to hoping we see more proactive ideas to reduce pollution being bounced around, say for instance, standing up to state-owned companies. Or trading in the government’s fleet of Audis for electric vehicles. Or banning farts.

When money doesn’t equal success

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“The party personnel system isn’t based on performance and competence. It’s based on loyalty and connections.”

So says one Fred Hu about the CPC in a Wall Street Journal piece on how the head of the biggest bank in China (and world) got stepped over for promotion — when the heads of other state-owned banks did. This may be one of the most obvious statements ever quoted by a major newspaper, but it comes with a great anecdote to illustrate it. The only thing CPC officials like more than money is loyalty.

Happy Year of the Snake!

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Me and boyfriend!

I’m ringing in the new Chinese year in Sanya, which is the opposite of Beijing. It is an extremely popular destination, especially in the winter, for Chinese (and Russians) since it is situated on the tropical island of Hainan and southernmost point of China. I learned from Wikipedia that it’s actually on the same latitude as Hawaii, so this should be good.

Here’s to sunshine and snakes and great things in the new year!

How laws work in China: An illustration

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I have a love-hate relationship with Chinese laws.

国务院办公厅印发贯彻落实国务院关于进一步做好利用外资工作若干意见部门分工方案的通知

Notice of the General Office of the State Council on Issuing the Plan on the Division of Work among Departments to Implement the Several Opinions of the State Council on Further Doing a Good Job in the Utilization of Foreign Investment

(Translated title here, here and here.)

Law is a painfully slow buildup that first starts with the actual law, or intent for a law; followed by, in various orders, the implementing rules; opinions on issues about the law; circulars to clarify certain things about the law; notices for any of the above rules … it just goes on and on. The State Council (1) had opinions on doing something, then (2) made a plan about them, before finally (3) implementing them. And for some reason, all three of them had to be painstakingly included in the name of the final law.

Three years and counting

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This past Monday marked the third anniversary of my landing in Beijing for the first time (after the 2002 family holiday and my summer internship). What was originally envisioned to be a one-year stint as an editor for a state media website has now stretched into a fourth year of prowling the motherland. I must admit, I had a feeling that this would happen. Not the fourth year per se, but that I would end up staying for more than a year. At the time, I couldn’t imagine being away for a whole entire year (all the people and things I would miss!), but I also knew that I would easily make myself at home here and then not want to leave it.

So it goes.

China is frustrating, which I know I’ve mentioned many times. The government, the people, the environment, the living standards — there’s always something to rant about and progress in these areas is dubious (though three years is not long enough to make an accurate assessment anyway). For example, did you know that in China, some work weeks have eight days? I’m sure this would be illegal according to the international labor administration, if it existed, and I really wish it did exist to infringe upon China’s sovereignty in moments like these. But alas, the benevolent government, the wise guardian of all Chinese people, the CPC, has the power to move around weekends so that they fall around a holiday — and then make us work the actual weekend.

As a result, we will be working New Year’s Eve and then get THREE WHOLE DAYS off for New Year’s before coming back to work on Friday. It sounds great, until you realize that we have to “make up” for two of those days on Saturday and Sunday, and continue to work the rest of the following week as well. A greater illustration of the cultural divide is harder to find, because this set-up actually makes sense to some Chinese people, who think having three days off in a row is great! Until, of course, you point out that they then have to work eight days in a row, which is tiring. And that even if there had to be days to make up, couldn’t you make up one of the days the following weekend, so that you’d at least get some rest in between? No? Thanks for ruining the holiday spirit, CPC.

But despite these constant battles with logic with Chinese characteristics,* living in a culture that is so different and so rife with opportunities for anecdotes helps. The insight I feel that I’ve gained here — into myself, the U.S., China, history and humanity writ large — more than makes up for the aggravating situations I find myself in every day.** So with that in mind, I’ll be sharing some of the best and the worst parts of China in the next few posts.

* This is not actually logic in the true sense of the word.

** I think so, anyway. This is one of the things I like about China (maybe the best thing), and there must be an explanation for why I am still here, other than that I’m too lazy to move.